3:38am December 10, 2012




#look at his face #it breaks my heart #like yes finally he doesn’t have to pretend anymore #he’s finally alone #Dean is gone home #and he stayed here #he doesn’t need to pretend to have any hope left #this is the end #he’s alone heartbroken and that’s what he deserves #but it hurts so much #and he knows he is not strong enough #he cannot possibly survive here alone #but he just won’t give up #he’s going to fight till his last breath #because that’s who he is #that’s what angels do #they’re soldiers#but he’s more than that now #because he probably wouldn’t find peace if he just gave up #if he did that to Dean #because even without any hope of seeing Dean again #he cannot do this to him - just give up completely- #so he fights with the little strength he has left #he fights and he thinks about Dean #Dean back home #Dean with Sam #Dean who is safe (via me)

3:20pm September 7, 2012



#wow okay#this is perfect#because dean…he’s all about that front that he puts up#the soldier front#the masculine front#the strong front#and the thing about it being a front - a facade in fact - is that it’s entirely false#he’s perfected it over the years; crafted it; built it up brick by brick#walled himself in with it because it was easier to live that way; better to survive that way#but beneath it he’s damaged and vulnerable and wounded and scared#and compassionate and too emotional and too invested and too loving and far too lost to be saved#and he knows that all too well#so he bottles it up (or drowns it in bottles)#yes. strong on the surface. but not all the way through.

#oh but that is a lot of strength in itself #because even waking up in the morning after what he’s been through should be impossible #what kills me is that he doesn’t (and probably never will) do it for himself #when people get mad at him for not being ‘fun and carefree’ like in season 1 #that was just a front he was never carefree he was just better at pretending to be #he has been responsible for someone else’s life since he was a four-year-old boy who had just lost his mother #you do realize he’s much more than just sam’s big brother right? he’s the only real parent sam ever had #what was i saying? yeah he was tortured for 40 years and never had the chance to rest and deal with his ptsd #so EXCUSE HIM FOR NOT PUTTING A GOOD ENOUGH PERFORMANCE FOR YOU ANYMORE

10:05pm August 30, 2012


DEAN: You gotta level with me and tell me what’s going on. Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not working with Crowley.
[CASTIEL looks away]
DEAN: Son of a bitch.

—  0620 the man who would be king [3/4]

#this is one of the most powerful moments #because throughout this entire episode Castiel was explaining what he was doing for Dean#going down a desperate path just so he wouldn’t need to be involved #but it shows more than that #because Dean—‘i don’t believe…i don’t need anyone’ Dean— #was the loyal one who hoped Castiel was doing the right thing #he defied doubt by continually believing that Castiel was doing it for the best #because he knows that’s what Castiel does #But this moment was when he finds out that his faith was wrong and that the doubts were all right after all #and it crushes him; and castiel in return#because Castiel didn’t want Dean to get involved #he did all of this so he would stay safe and out of it and far from battle again #but it didn’t work out that way and all his good intentions were for naught #so he must carry the burden of guilt #and Dean is stabbed deeply with betrayal #and both of them feel the pains of their love as they drag through a rough patch #because they still want to believe in one another but think that they shouldn’t #they do though they do and they should #because they both care too much about each other to leave it just at that (tags by thecorruptedquietone)